Hugs, Paint, and Tears

I had a strange feeling last night. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something seemed to be missing. I get these feelings sometimes and the best cure is a cup of sleepytime tea and my bed.

It wasn’t until this afternoon that I got the phone call from my dad telling me that my grandma passed away late last night. I knew it was coming, but it still isn’t something for which you are prepared.

I was glad I got the call while sitting and having lunch with my two great friends. It made the big pill a little easier to swallow. The rest of the afternoon I thought about my morning, my dad and grandma, my stepmom, my brother, and my mom. I thanked God so many times for all the gifts in my life. Especially the wonderful hug given by one of all time favorite students this morning on the playground. It’s as if he knew I would need it later on that day.

Yet, after trying so hard to hold it together, all it took was a little green paint on my dress and the tears were streaming.

Perhaps it was just the release I needed. I can’t help but smile a little thinking about what my grandma would have said if she witnessed that. I could see it now, and through the chuckles she would say, “Come on Kal! You can’t cry over spilled milk!” And who knows maybe my little mishap and cryfest did make her chuckle a bit as she sits on her golf course now, sipping her gin and tonic.

I love you grandma and miss you  . . .

(These birds are hanging on the wall in my grandma’s house. I was always so in love with them. I took a picture the last time I visited. I find it to be fitting.)

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